The American Legion Bridge

Last night, I dreamed that they were building townhouses that were attached to the sides of the American Legion Bridge, near the banks of the Potomac River, on both the Maryland and Virginia sides. And it was really messing up traffic with all the construction, and as I was driving across the bridge, I thought to myself, if the middle of the bridge collapsed, all the houses would come down, too.

My Aunt Died

Last night, I had a dream that my recently married cousin (who is probably my closest cousin, because we get along so well and are so much alike), was hanging out with me, when she nonchalantly turned to me and said “by the way, my mom died last night in a car accident.”  And then she turned back to whatever she was doing, as if it didn't matter, while I sat beside her, shell-shocked.

Austin Powers Is Sexy?

Last night, in my dream, I was chasing Austin Powers, because I WANTED him. I finally trapped him in a hotel room, and to give the room atmosphere, I started turning off the lights. But the lights were endless. Every time I thought I had the last one, I realized there was another I had missed. I finally gave up on the lights and seductively went to him in my negligée, where he appeared scared and nervous. There the dream ended.

*Note: I have not watched any of the Austin Powers movies in years.

Shattering Dishes

Last night, I dreamed that I was standing in the kitchen while my boyfriend did the dishes when all of a sudden, he turned and began raging at me. Then he began throwing plates and bowls and glasses at me as I stood in terror, while they shattered around my feet and all I could do was open my mouth in a silent scream.

*It’s important for me to note here that a couple of months ago I got out of a long-term mentally and occasionally physically abusive relationship, and I believe this dream was a projection of that. As my friend put it, my “past is haunting” me.*

Car Accident

Last night, I dreamt that I was winding down the twisty roads of West Virginia (not sure why WV, but whatever) in my banana yellow Celica. It began to gradually lose gravity and bounce, similar to how you would bounce on the moon. As it bounced higher and higher, I continued to lose control and flew off the road in mid-air towards the fir trees that are so prevalent in this part of the country (for the record, I live in northern Virginia). I was directly headed for one of those trees and I braced both hands on the steering wheel and pushed back, readying for impact. It should be noted here that the rest of this happened in slow motion. Bracing myself, I pushed back against the seat, and plowed into the tree. Glass shattered all around me. When the car came to a complete stop, I was fully reclined, as if the bracing and pushing and reclined it all the way back until I was laying down.

And then I walked away from the accident, without a scratch.

Birth

Last night, I dreamed I had a baby. But I birthed a baby that was the equivalent of an 8-month old. I brought him home from the hospital in a plastic grocery bag. Now the thing is, I tied the grocery bag shut with the handles (I do this in real life to keep things from spilling out when I’m driving home). I brought him home, set him down, bag and all in the living room and went to bed.
About a day passed and I kept thinking his name was Anthony, and I worried that my friend Carmen was going to be so pissed that i had named him that, because that’s HER baby’s name. Then I realized that I hadn’t heard a peep from the little one since I brought him home, and realized I didn’t have a crib or baby monitors, or ANYTHING. I rushed downstairs (Dennis and I were living in my old house in Virginia) and he was still in the bag, which was still tied shut. I ripped open the bag, and he was gasping for breath and his little heart was beating wildly. But I didn’t take him to the doctor, because I was afraid they would call the cops to come arrest me for child neglect.
Then I checked his hospital bracelet and remembered I didn’t name him Anthony afterall! I named him Theodore Jackson (I have no idea where that name is from). And I called him Teddy. I pressed Teddy to me so relieved, and his heart beat slowed to normal. I remember just loving that kid so much, and the last thing I remember is holding him up by his hands and teaching him to walk.
Then I woke up.

Brain Surgery

I dreamed I was having an autopsy/brain surgery. Dr. Hahn from Grey’s Anatomy was my surgeon and I was awake and laying face down while she peeled my scalp back from skull. She kept pouring ice cold water over my skull to rinse the blood and every time she did, I got a cold chill that went down my body. Afterwards, she sewed me up, and I asked my friend Liz, “Can you see the scar and stitches?” as I shook my LONG wavy hair at her.

I have short short hair. Weird.

My Parents Remarried

My mom and dad have been divorced for 22 years. My dad has been with his girlfriend for the same amount of time. They met shortly after my mom divorced him. Seriously, that’s true. So in my dream, my dad kicked Pat (his girlfriend, whom I just consider my stepmom, because they have been together for so long and I love her like my own mother) out of HER OWN house in Florida and my mom and him remarried. I was forced to go live with them in Pat’s house. WTF. I remember walking around and thinking, “this is so freakin’ weird. My parents are married. This is NOT natural.”

Death Comes For Me

I dreamed that I was driving the Celica and got into a bad accident. Now, mind you, I don’t remember the actual accident. I just remember seeing my car cracked up pretty badly. And the doctors checked me out and I was dead, but still alive. I was at my old house in Virginia, and I remember seeing the Celica all cracked up in the front yard. And I said to my mother, “Maybe I’m not dead. Maybe I’m just really sick.” And she cried and said, “No, Jenn, you really are dead. The doctor confirmed it.” And I cried.

I looked out our bay window and saw my neighbor Sarah walking across our yard with her head hung. She and I grew up together. She was carrying an envelope.

Then I went upstairs and said to the doctor, “Maybe I’m not dead. Maybe I’m just sick.” And he disagreed and said I was indeed dead. Then he said, “Hold out your arm. See how it’s turning gray? That’s what happens when you die. Your skin turns gray.” And I remember looking at it turning gray and I cried.

Then I was in an underground parking garage, looking at my Celica (weirdly, I think the parking garage was under my house, even though there are no basements in my hometown) and as I was winding my way down the ramp, there were other people there, too. And I kept seeing a tall, thin black man in a long black trench coat. Everywhere I turned, there he was, just strolling along. Never looking at me, just happened to be everywhere I was. And I knew he was Death and he was coming to claim me from this world. And as I looked at the Celica, I ran across a MLB player…someone famous. I don’t know who, but I remember that I recognized him as someone famous in my dream. And he had some paper in his hand, and when he handed it to me, he said, “It’s a transcript of your life,” and showed me where he and I were conversing before I crashed my car.

As I read down the transcript, the last dialogue said, “And it’s a shame you won’t be alive to see-” and that’s where the accident occurred. I realized it was him I had had the conversation with, and he knew before the accident that I was going to die.

The I woke up. In tears. Thinking I really was dead, and that my current life was nothing but the dream of a dead person.