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Thursday, February 9, 2006

Death Comes For Me

I dreamed that I was driving the Celica and got into a bad accident. Now, mind you, I don’t remember the actual accident. I just remember seeing my car cracked up pretty badly. And the doctors checked me out and I was dead, but still alive. I was at my old house in Virginia, and I remember seeing the Celica all cracked up in the front yard. And I said to my mother, “Maybe I’m not dead. Maybe I’m just really sick.” And she cried and said, “No, Jenn, you really are dead. The doctor confirmed it.” And I cried.
I looked out our bay window and saw my neighbor Sarah walking across our yard with her head hung. She and I grew up together. She was carrying an envelope.
Then I went upstairs and said to the doctor, “Maybe I’m not dead. Maybe I’m just sick.” And he disagreed and said I was indeed dead. Then he said, “Hold out your arm. See how it’s turning gray? That’s what happens when you die. Your skin turns gray.” And I remember looking at it turning gray and I cried.
Then I was in an underground parking garage, looking at my Celica (weirdly, I think the parking garage was under my house, even though there are no basements in my hometown) and as I was winding my way down the ramp, there were other people there, too. And I kept seeing a tall, thin black man in a long black trench coat. Everywhere I turned, there he was, just strolling along. Never looking at me, just happened to be everywhere I was. And I knew he was Death and he was coming to claim me from this world. And as I looked at the Celica, I ran across a MLB player…someone famous. I don’t know who, but I remember that I recognized him as someone famous in my dream. And he had some paper in his hand, and when he handed it to me, he said, “It’s a transcript of your life,” and showed me where he and I were conversing before I crashed my car.
As I read down the transcript, the last dialogue said, “And it’s a shame you won’t be alive to see-” and that’s where the accident occurred. I realized it was him I had had the conversation with, and he knew before the accident that I was going to die.
The I woke up. In tears. Thinking I really was dead, and that my current life was nothing but the dream of a dead person.

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My name is Jennifer and this is my dream diary. You'll probably think my dreams are weird; I know I do! I have been having very vivid, clear dreams my entire life, some which I still remember from when I was a child. I always dream in color, and frequently, though I don't update this blog as frequently as I'd like to.

Of note: I suffer from very mild depression and anxiety disorder, so I'm sure both have a lot to do with that, especially the latter. Death or near-death appears to be a common theme.

I hope if you take the time to read this, you find it interesting at least. I decided to begin documenting my dreams to figure out why I remember them with such clarity and others do not. Please feel free to comment and leave feedback!